So. One of my readers who has been entertaining me lately with a little on going flirtation asked me on Saturday about my others.
"Actually, I was wondering through all the vagueries about your flirtations and FWBs just how many others Jolyon* is sharing you with (besides you're SO and his wife)? "
Well, at any given time, about six. When I sit here and think about it that sounds like a lot, I mean, yeah, that's a lot but let's put that number in context. I'll go through one by one and introduce you to the players in this drama called My Life.
First and foremost is Jolyon (pronounced Jo-lee-yun). Jolyon and I have been married twenty-two years, he was my high school sweetheart, we married young, got pregnant early, almost divorced three times. He's the most constant, enduring, trustworthy man I know. I respect and admire him and the work he has done to keep our marriage together, alive and thriving. Jolyon at present is not dating or in a committed relationship. Not because he isn't willing but because he has been taking some time to get over a recent and heartfelt breakup. He is the boy next door and if you want to know more about him and his poly views, ask him.
Next. Jack and his wife Marrianne.
They have been happily married for twenty-four years (if I remember right), they met in college and it was love at first sight. They have three beautiful children who are close in age to mine and J.'s. He's a successful engineer and a professional photographer. She's a school teacher turned retail manager. I met them in the spring of 2005 at our local monthly poly meeting. Jack and I started dating almost a year later in January of '06. He is wonderfully handsome, older than me, rugged and gentle, thoughtful and self-centered, opinionated, caustic and confident that boarders almost on arrogance. Our relationship has been a tough go since we are both two peas in a pod. He is my significant other. Marrianne and I have only recently started dating. Although both of us being bisexual we have had numerous sexual encounters in groups together, now we are building a relationship that's just ours. She is tender, kind, compassionate, easy going to a fault and wonderfully patient. When Jack and I get into a scrape she's our referee.
Now, after what I call the significant relationships in my life there are those relationships that are, to a greater or lesser degree, either 1. entertainment 2. Friends w/or without benefits. Here's how I see it:
Richard and his wife Janice.
Married for twenty-four years also. One child. He is older than me, moderately active, shares my interest in art, wine, coffee and architecture. Jolyon dated Janice for almost two years and recently ended their relationship. In the beginning we were a quad. Richard and I had started dating only a month after I started dating Jack. It was a head over heels, intensely passionate and sexual explosion. It was a volcanic eruption of emotion and bodily fluids. I gave myself to that relationship whole heartedly but unfortunately we both were not on the same page. Due to some miscommunication, after a year spent in a roller coaster relationship, did we find that we wanted very different things. After some significant time apart we recently resumed communication on a friendly level and after the dust has settled I believe it will be a sweet enduring friendship w/o sex involved, but since it was GREAT sex we both agree to leave the option open to be FWB.
Elliot.
Elliot is a divorced male, single parent with two children. He's poly/swinger. We met years ago through a mutual friend while he was still married and J. and I were monogamous. We saw each other at parties of the mutual friend and flirted shamelessly and argued about anything and everything as he loves to be contrary. We have dated on and off for about seven months, we text a great deal, have lunch a couple of times a month and have settled into a casual friendship. Elliot has some medical issues as of late that prevent us from having sex, although being a single parent that was always a challenge anyway.
My dearest sweet Henry.
Single, never been married, no children, monogamous. Henry is in his late forties, he lives alone, he's kind to his mother, consistent in friendship and I feel a deep trust and affection for him. He is a gentleman of fine caliber, intelligent, creative, gifted and a functioning alcoholic. It took a while in our dating for me to realise his addiction and if you ask him he wouldn't think that was a correct assessment, but as a recovering addict myself I know the signs. Henry, out of all the men I've dated has been the most interested in really getting to know me. He listens and wants to know what I think and how I feel about anything and everything, he dotes on me and I eat it up. After coming to terms with Henry's drinking I decided to stop seeing him, I felt that what he needed was to get himself together and maybe another relationship with a woman who could eventually be his wife, give him children and make him the center of her world. He deserves so much. At this point Henry and I are not dating, we keep in contact regularly and he asks every time we talk about getting together and I'm tempted. I'm leaving this relationship open and if he could get a handle on himself it would be a relationship somewhere between casual friendship and committed love, whatever that means.
Then there are my Web Friendships/flirtations. There are several but all at a distant, entertainment level. None of these know my phone number for instance or where exactly I live. It truly is the love of correspondence and verbal repartee that keep me going. I know what they have shared with me but I have no way of knowing if it's the truth. A few of them, the adorable reader who inspired this post for instance, I would love to actually meet in person but not all of them.
So, there you go.
Two significant others, three FWB all at different levels of affection and attachment, none of which I see regularly, three Internet flirtations, and a few more just for "pen pals" of a naughty sort.
Cool Huh? Who's a lucky girl?
