I must be hormonal.
I've been beyond horny this weekend and thinking this is one of those times when it pays to be poly...
at least it should.
I get to see Jack and Marrianne regularly and over the last year, even with my hectic schedule at school we have all managed to dive in deeper in the intimacy pool. I've been spending the nights at their place and finding myself wanting to help with household chores and the kids, you know I told him one night at dinner, "I'm a wife Jack, it's what I do." I've even taken to calling him on several occasions my husband. "Hello, this is my husband Jack." I like it. I like the sound of it, but more than that it feels good and comfortable and like home. It's been interesting talking about it with my husband, Jolyon, this profound affection and attachment I have for Jack. There's only been a few times I think he's been jealous or hurt by something I inadvertently did or said. Where he felt left out or ignored. I'm glad we could work through it and give and understand one another in order to continue with this alternative thing we are doing with our lives now.
Anyway, as close as I am with Jack, as much as I truly feel that I could potentially be his second wife I find myself frustrated and a little selfish and self-centered tonight at not having my needs met. Of course it was a silly thing, a "let's read between the lines" kinda thing.
It's Sunday night, I'm laying around in my big ol bed reading, getting up every so often to surf the web and then under the covers again into my book and I think man I want to be fucked right now, I just want it and I want it the way he does it. So I text him.
"I wish you were here right now fucking me. I miss your body."
Surprisingly he answers within minutes,
"Use your fingers and think about me."
Nice.
So I text back,
"Thanks"
Only I'm thinking thanks for nothing. So later J. comes in to check on me and see what I'm up to, what I'm reading, if he can get me anything and I tell him about this conversation I just had and you know, he didn't get it either. "If it had been me," he says "I would have been there in ten minutes." and you know, I believe him. When he was dating his ex he was really into the sex, no matter what day or time he was there, gettin his groove on.
Anyway, just wanted to bitch. I've got four superfluous relationships and not one available to sex me up. Life just blows sometimes and not in a good way.
I've been beyond horny this weekend and thinking this is one of those times when it pays to be poly...
at least it should.
I get to see Jack and Marrianne regularly and over the last year, even with my hectic schedule at school we have all managed to dive in deeper in the intimacy pool. I've been spending the nights at their place and finding myself wanting to help with household chores and the kids, you know I told him one night at dinner, "I'm a wife Jack, it's what I do." I've even taken to calling him on several occasions my husband. "Hello, this is my husband Jack." I like it. I like the sound of it, but more than that it feels good and comfortable and like home. It's been interesting talking about it with my husband, Jolyon, this profound affection and attachment I have for Jack. There's only been a few times I think he's been jealous or hurt by something I inadvertently did or said. Where he felt left out or ignored. I'm glad we could work through it and give and understand one another in order to continue with this alternative thing we are doing with our lives now.
Anyway, as close as I am with Jack, as much as I truly feel that I could potentially be his second wife I find myself frustrated and a little selfish and self-centered tonight at not having my needs met. Of course it was a silly thing, a "let's read between the lines" kinda thing.
It's Sunday night, I'm laying around in my big ol bed reading, getting up every so often to surf the web and then under the covers again into my book and I think man I want to be fucked right now, I just want it and I want it the way he does it. So I text him.
"I wish you were here right now fucking me. I miss your body."
Surprisingly he answers within minutes,
"Use your fingers and think about me."
Nice.
So I text back,
"Thanks"
Only I'm thinking thanks for nothing. So later J. comes in to check on me and see what I'm up to, what I'm reading, if he can get me anything and I tell him about this conversation I just had and you know, he didn't get it either. "If it had been me," he says "I would have been there in ten minutes." and you know, I believe him. When he was dating his ex he was really into the sex, no matter what day or time he was there, gettin his groove on.
Anyway, just wanted to bitch. I've got four superfluous relationships and not one available to sex me up. Life just blows sometimes and not in a good way.
2 comments:
Poly is all about the time management and the living arrangements....
That's all well and good if we are compartmentalizing the issue. The conflict comes from love, and the expression of it not always being clearly defined. The feelings of love will cause even the most rational of us to act in ways that are seemingly out of character and to reprioritize our environment. So, yeah, I'm being a little prissy because I wanted my way, but I think to say it's all about the schedule is an easy justification for failure, or what my grandma would call bullshit.
"Gee, honey, as much as I would like to fuck you today I just can't find the time. Have your secretary call my secretary and we'll do lunch."
Unacceptable.
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